Boys really are braver than girls

At the end of July, Will and I joined my parents on a wonderful trip to the mountains of Vermont to witness my cousin, Liza’s wedding.  It was an awesome trip and Will and I had so much fun with my parents touring around VT as well as relaxing in our rental lake house.  I was really excited for this trip because it allowed time for Will and me to spend time together and do some “big kid” stuff.  I was amazed by his abilities and maturity on this trip starting with the all day travel on the way out there.  He rolled his adult size wheelie suitcase throughout both airports, O’Hare and Montreal Canada, listened very well to all directions, never complained about the long day starting at 6am and finally ending at 7pm when we reached our lake house in Vermont.  And trust me, there was a lot of walking around and confusion at the Montreal airport, trying to find our off site car rental, trying to find our way back to the US without a Canadian map, and then winding our way through the mountains to find our rental house that didn’t have a street address!  He is the best four year old I know and I am so proud of him.

The next day, we explored the Stowe, Vermont area which included lots of mountain driving, exploring caves at Smuggler’s Notch, learning about the Von Trapp Family lives once they moved here from Austria, going down the Alpine Slide, and doing back flips on the trampoline.        

That afternoon, we made a big pot of black beans and rice to bring to the Friday night Burrito Dinner that Lincoln and Liza were hosting at the camp at Nichols Pond (which was more of a lake).  We arrived and despite the steady rain, everyone was in a joyous spirit to celebrate Lincoln and Liza’s union.  Will and I enjoyed taking a canoe out in the rain on Nichols Pond which was so serene and private.  The rain didn’t bother us at all.  We would like to return there someday to do some exploring. 

The next day, we took advantage of the kayaks and boat at the Lake Elmore lake house.  Like the canoe, Will was very brave and still on the kayaks and we never tipped over!  He even learned to paddle.  We enjoyed playing hide and seek with the loons.  Each time the loons popped up, we’d have to find them.  When we spotted him, the loon would dip back down and swim under water again to pick a new spot to pop up.  

That afternoon was Liza’s wedding at Mirror Lake, another gorgeous spot that was special to her and her husband.  The ceremony was very personal and we had a lot of fun learning to contra dance!  Will wants to do more contra dancing soon.

The next day was another day spent at the rental house on the kayaks and my Aunt Ann and Uncle Peter came to visit.  It was nice to spend some time with them as they live in VT and we don’t get to see too much of each other.  Will and I had been eyeing up the fire tower at the top of Mount Elmore located behind our rental the whole time we were there.  We knew there was a hiking trail to get there from the Elmore State Park on the other side of the lake.  

Since it was our last night, Will and I packed some snacks and started up the mountain around 5:15pm.  I knew I was taking a bit of a chance here since he had not napped that day, it was dinner time, and it looked like a long way up (Will’s first difficult hike), but he was determined to do it and it was something he wanted to do since we got to our lake house, and hey, I love hiking, so more power to us!

As we started up, we passed a few families coming down.  No one had kids as young as Will, but no one gave me a crazy look or warnings that it was a very difficult hike for a four year old so it eased my anxiety about the potential of carrying Will on my back for the majority of the hike.  Although, I did notice many of them were drenched in sweat and seemed to be a bit haggard!

I also thought a few times about how I didn’t have any weapons in my pack to fend off any bears which we knew were in the area.  I came up with a defensive strategy instead as Will and I sang songs and clapped our hands to keep any bears at bay.

About half way up, the trail became more difficult and at the top, we needed to use our hands more to climb up the top portions of the mountain, similar to the rocks at Devil’s Lake State Park in WI.  Will never complained once, and we rarely stopped for a rest.  We found a beautiful flat ledge about 20 minutes from the top that we sat on for a long time together looking over Lake Elmore and the mountains of central Vermont.  This will forever be one of my favorite moments with Will.  I was so proud of him climbing that mountain, and enjoyed every minute with him, especially the lazy ones we spent on that ledge.

It was about 7:30pm when we reached the top where the fire tower was.  Will was so proud of climbing up the mountain and very excited to climb the tower.  He had no fear!

I climbed two flights of the stairs – then my nerves and fear of unstable heights got to me.  I froze and clung to the stairs.  I remember practically laying on the stairs of a lookout tower when I was younger and my parents continued to climb up.  I have a very hard time with these things.  I knew I’d have a hard time with this one, but for some reason I thought I could do it since we climb Eagle Tower in Door County every year and every year, it gets easier for me.  However, this tower was very different.  The stairs were about half the size, there was only one skinny railing with a big gaping area for me to fall through underneath, and there wasn’t a soul around.
Will was pleading with me to keep going (he was a flight above me) so I took off my pack and everything out of my pockets and made it up one more flight but I couldn’t do it.  I get dizzy very easy and all I could think of is – if I fall, then Will is left here alone – there’s no way he could go back down the mountain alone especially since it was getting dark.  I would have felt better if there was some other person, even a stranger, there that could help Will back down the mountain if I was immobilized after a terrifying fall.  I told Will, let’s wait here for 5 minutes to see if anyone else comes and then I’ll feel better about trying to climb to the top.  Although, I was pretty sure we were the last ones up the mountain, it was about 7:30 pm once we reached the top.

Of course, no one came.  I totally chickened out!  It was the worse feeling in my life - letting my son down.  I hated that moment and it will haunt me forever.  When we got back down to the ledge, we stopped and hung out there for awhile again.  I was so disappointed in myself and wondered why I didn’t just say a prayer to God while I was so scared on those stairs and let him give me the courage to climb to the top.  I made a pact with Will that the next time we go to Vermont, we will bring someone else on the hike and I WILL get to the top with him no matter how scared I am!

On the way back down the mountain, it was getting dark in the woods and I could tell he was getting nervous about the bears.  He had seen the 2 photos in the Elmore General Store of the 2 bears that were spotted in Elmore in May and July and I could only imagine what he was thinking as he stuck close to my side.  He stayed very close to me and once we were on the flat road at the end of the trail, asked for a piggy back ride.  He hugged me tight and rested his head on my back as I jogged/hop skipped back to the trail head – I was getting a little nervous with the dark closing in, myself!  Then Will asked me, “Mom, do you think I’m as brave as you?”  I replied, “Well, sometimes I think you’re braver than Mommy, like when we were climbing the fire tower, you were ready to climb to the top, and Mommy was too scared.  But then there’s times that I think I might be braver than you.  Like right now, I sense you might be a little scared coming down the mountain in the dark, but Mommy knows we’ll be safe and we’ll be to the car soon.”  He says, “Yeah, that’s what I was thinking!”

It was a memorable, positive experience anyway and Will is still talking about the cool hike, the fire tower, and the ledge that we sat on for a long time, just him and me. 

At the bottom of the mountain, we took a quick dip in the lake at the State Park and came back to eat a satisfying steak dinner around 9pm.  The next day we packed up, toured some covered bridges and made our long journey home.  It was a trip of a lifetime and very special to see my cousin, witness her nuptials, and spend the quality time with my mom, dad, and my eldest son.